Learn more about the programs of CT Humanities! Still, it's hard to argue with the results. This slideshow is all about the faulty decisions professional athletes make over the course of their TV careers. Program, Strengthen Your Tribe: A Report on the Atomic Athlete Vanguard, Sunday Firesides: We Need to Make Adulthood More Desirable, The Best Riddles for Kids (With Answers! I figured if they were being sold in a drugstore in plastic bottles for $5 and not at a department store in fancy glass bottles for $50, they probably smelled awful. English Leather gift boxes were a popular holiday gift for years. The real tragedy is that this took place before you could make fun of these types of commercials. With every bottle of Hai Karate, you got a small instruction booklet of karate moves that you were supposed to use to fend off the women who would be all over you after you applied this irresistible fragrance. The only way to truly get a feel for it is by sitting back and pressing play. So why did it sell so well? On November 17, 1917, the J.B. Williams Company of Glastonbury filed a trademark with the United States Patent and Trademark Office for the Word Mark Aqua Velva. The application stated the name was to be applied to a line of face lotions and after shave preparations that had been sold commercially for the first time in October of that year. Even the Lone Ranger and Tonto wore Aqua Velva. Ah, Brut. If youre really itching to try some Hai Karate, you can buy it on eBay. Every time I stroll down the mens grooming aisle at my local drugstore to pick up somedeodorant or Brylcreem, I cant help butnotice the shelves of colognes and aftershaves. A quick search of Google's records reveals that Keith is now a scout for the Boston Bruins. Rose's endorsement deals ran wild during his playing career. Another thing we like: The formula can double as a moisturizer for your whole body, meaning one less tube to pack when youre on the road this summer. But this gem from Miller Lite never quite found its groove. Jonathan Ogden may have been 6'9" and weighed 345 pounds, but it's tough to imagine hitting him with your car wouldn't inflict a profusion of damage on the former Baltimore Ravens big man. As the day wore on, it started to smell more like baby powder. Yeah, we know: Aqua Velva is your dads (or your grandpas) aftershave. But perhaps none were more bizarre than deal he struck with Kool-Aid. But one day, I decided that instead of relying on my fallacious reasoning to judge the quality of these forgotten drugstore colognes and aftershaves, I would bust out some good old-fashioned empiricism. But one area in which we are different is when it comes to television. For access to exclusive gear videos, celebrity interviews, and more, subscribe on YouTube! Before he destroyed the New York Knicks, Isiah Thomas was one of the best point guards in the NBA. Crazy, huh? One thing youll notice is the lack of kick in this balm. ), You Dont Have to Be Your Dad: How to Become Your Familys Transitional Character, Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a Man, A Celebration of the Ideal Bachelor From 1906, Why Ambivalent Relationships Are Terrible for You (And How to Deal With Them), Podcast #808: The Surprising Science Behind Building Stronger Relationships, Podcast #800: The 5 Allies Every Man Needs, Bike Maintenance 101: How to Patch an Inner Tube, How to Sharpen a Pocket Knife: An Illustrated Guide, 11 Auto Maintenance Jobs Every Man Can Do Himself, The Basic Dance Step Every Man Should Know. Since 1810, Pinaud Clubman has been making the world smell manlier with their wide range of grooming products. Williams Shaving Cream and Aqua Velva ad, ca. Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing. Rose endorses covering yourself in Aqua Velva, which sends off an odor strong enough to take down a sloth of brown bears frolicking in the wilderness. Lets be clear: The stuff isnt fancy. Please, someone who comments below this article, send me a box of that stuff so I can write and run on a treadmill at the same time. Ill be honest, I used to turn up my nose at these colognes and aftershaves too. This article was originally published in January2012. We all have regrets in life. Im personally a fan of it. Too bad the website that was linked to the back of the commercial is now defunct. Picturing the director selling this concept to Lemieux must have been a thrilling experience. Just like its 1970s predecessor, Axe assaults ones nasal cavities (at least when over-applied by zealous middle schoolers), yet remains popular because of clever marketing that usually features women attacking some dude whos sprayed himself with magically instant sex appeal. Heres the TV commercial showing the effects of Hai Karate on a mans unsuspecting girlfriend: While Hai Karate faded from the fragrance scene in the 80s, its legacy lives on today in Axe body spray. The ladies ofSequoyahMiddle School loved it. After a century of making cowboy hats, the Stetson Company decided to get into the mens fragrance business in 1981 with a cologne for men. Chances are your grandpa probably wore the stuff. It wasnt until 1935 that Aqua Velva started getting pitched exclusively as an aftershave. Leave feedback about your eBay ViewItem experience, 1948 Aqua Velva Ad Lucius Beebe Columnist 1948 Demuth Briar Root Pipes Ad, - Top Rated Plus - opens in a new window or tab, - eBay Money Back Guarantee - opens in a new window or tab, cleared payment - opens in a new window or tab, - for PayPal Credit, opens in a new window or tab, Learn more about earning points with eBay Mastercard, - eBay Return policy - opens in a new tab or window, - eBay Money Back Guarantee - opens in a new tab or window. Of all the ridiculous layers that engulf this commercial, nothing beats the wig he's wearing to show off what his hair looks like before he slathers on a greasy chunk of Grecian. Over the years, Brut has marketed itself as the go-to fragrance for men of strength and virility. He truly was the real MVP. Youd think smelling like rubbingalcoholwould be a bad thing, but somehow Pinaud Clubman makes it work. Offered on VHS and DVD,The Ripken Waystands the test of time. What it smells like: Aqua Velva leaves a nice, clean, masculine smell thats heavy on the menthol, but also includes hints of vanilla, lavender, and oakmoss. The scent combines dashes of sandalwood, oakmoss, lavender, and jasmine. A female reporter is seen asking Pete questions. Among them youll find fragrances that once sat in Grandpas bathroom English Leather, Old Spice, Aqua Velva but are now overlooked or snickered at by the younger generation. Can't you picture millions of kids telling their parents that in the '80s? Copyright 1995-2022 eBay Inc. All Rights Reserved. Channeling a '90s version of Larry Bird, a couple of fellas are hanging out a bar watching their favorite basketball team take a beating. Ogden is surrounded by a bunch of women dressed like Sheryl Crowcirca 1997who dance around him to an insufferable jingle. Its not bad, just different from the typical male fragrances on the list. With all their rugged cowboy marketing, I expected Stetson to have a woodsy, leathery, or even musk scent. Heres Joe telling us how men who go all the way wear Brut: What it smells like: People either love or hate Brut. A few years later, they re-branded the budget version back to just Brut. Thus was born one of the most iconic bargain colognes of all time. The original Brut was marketed as a luxury scent in 1963, but in 1968,Faberg (the company that owns Brut) created a budget version called Brut 33 (the 33 was a reference to the fact that it was 33% less fragrant than the original). The total on myreceiptfor the six different products was $41. Good to have in your collection. Ending this list without another Pete Rose commercial in it would be criminal at this stage in the game. Never forget Billy Ripken belting out the phrase "Oh that is nice" at the end of the spot. His "teammates" are amazed by this feat and ask him how he's always so energized. Stetson took advantage of their cowboy heritage by pitching their cologne as the scent for men who are independent and love adventure. In 1923, the advertising tagline was Your Strongest Suit A Face Thats Fit! Everything in this video is wretched. We only recommend products we genuinely like, and purchases made through our links support our mission and the free content we publish here on AoM. From that moment on, the spot goes from cheesy to awful. It would be much more fun to write a fictional story about Keith and why never surpassed his brother in the NHL. By the early 1900s, the company had become known world-wide for its products which grew to include shaving creams, talcum powder, and other toilet preparations, including those now trademarked with the Aqua Velva name. However, as my eyes drift down to the lowest shelf, Ill usually spy a selection of hardly touched colognes and aftershaves. For more than 25 years, Mens Journal has been the expert in all things gear from mountain bikes to fitness trackers, blenders to watches, and drones to cars. It appears to be a Patron Tequila bottle (or very similar to it). Youll find overpowering notes of sage and cinnamon when you apply it. Theres no organic, farm-grown, sustainably harvested anything in this bottle. Old Spice has been sold in its iconic buoy-shaped bottle since 1938. They can range anywhere from diet and exercise all the way up to our jobs and even how we express our feelings. It has all of the ingredients for a hot plate of disaster: Corny acting, a terrible little kid cameo and a VHS-quality camera. While our standards remain high as ever, our site now includes affiliate links, which means that if you buy something using these links, we may receive a commission. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. Average Price: $10 for 3.5 oz. Sitting in their respective rides, each athlete vibes along to abanal song. This Pete Rose commercial talking about how to avoid gray hair is everything. Example: What it smells like:Its a pretty simple fragrance. The lady at the checkout lane gave me a funny look and noted that shes never seen a guy my age buying the stuff in my basket. classic barbershops their distinctive scent. Playing hockey and "hydrating" with soda is the best idea ever! Aqua Velvas biggest selling point has always been the cooling menthol that soothes away razor burn. He rips off his suit like Superman to reveal a basketball uniform. Walk into any traditional barbershop and youll likely find Pinaud Clubman aftershave sitting on the shelves; its part of what gives classic barbershops their distinctive scent. James Baker Williams, founder of the J.B. Williams Company, established a factory in Glastonbury in 1847 based on the success of one of his earlier products, Williams Genuine Yankee Soap. About to give up on all hope, one of those gentleman slams down his beer in frustration, and bam: Larry Bird emerges from the crowd. Nice and fresh. The aftershave of choice of my grandfather, William Hurst, and my own favorite drugstore classic. Gretzky drinking soda and flying all over the ice is one thing. Sign up for our newsletter to get the latest adventures, workouts, destinations, and more. ). Hi-yo, Silver! Take a moment to bask in all of its terrible glory, because without further delay, here are the most regrettable commercials in sports history. Out of everyone who graced us with their presence, Portis' scenes go above and beyond. The smell is initially potent, but fades to a pleasant manly oakmoss smell very quickly. English Leather got its start in 1949, and it hasnt changed much since then. Discussion in 'Preshave and Aftershave' started by GDCarrington, Jun 7, 2011. Bruts trademark plastic green (and, lets be honest, kind of phallic) bottle with its silver logo has graced the medicine cabinets of millions of men across the world. Which is why its surprising no one has attempted to create (or, okay, market) a product that tackles these five big problem spots for men before now. But when his kid brother Keith Gretzky gets in on the action, all bets are off. They can be outrageous and still strike a chord with consumers. One final note that's of the utmost importance: Post-Cincinnati Reds Rose is the best kind of Rose. University of Connecticut Libraries, Archives & Special Collections at the Thomas J. Dodd Research Center. Never forget. Oh, the power of branding on my feeble mind! If youre looking to invigorate your freshly shaved face or want to dab on a bit of scent every day without breaking the bank, they make for agreeable alternatives to expensive fragrances. My first cologne. Aficionados swear there was a subtle change made to the formula after Procter & Gamble acquired the brand. Without a celebrity endorsement, how good could they be? Not about baseball, of course, but about what he wants out of his aftershave. Mens Journal has affiliate partnerships so we may receive compensation for some links to products and services. After their playing careers were complete, the greatest brotherly duo in the history of sports created a series of instructional baseball videos that would forever change the way we think about the game. If you shave, its a safe bet that you have encountered at least one of the following in the minutes after running a razor over your mug: Redness, itchiness, ingrown hairs, dryness, and irritation. After she's done with her rant, she changes her tune and explains why he really needs Gebco insurancenot to be confused with GEICO. What a deal! If it werent, Wayne Gretzky wouldn't do it on TV. I headed over to my nearest drugstore and filled up my handbasket with every single cologne and fragrance they offered. Had you been one of the early soldiers to venture out on the front lines of YouTube, you would have seen this wild commercial from Eastern Motors staring Ray Lewis, Clinton Portis, LaVar Arrington and Brendan Haywood. Both Ripken brothers teach you the game and present it to us with the unwavering charm of an infomercial. In sports, athletes go through the same range of emotions that we do. Podcast #242: The Forgotten Virtue of Reverence, The Ultimate Guide to Oldtime Strongman Fitness: 26 Forgotten Exercises Every Man Should Try, Podcast #269: The Forgotten History of Autism, Podcast #408: The Incredible Forgotten Story of WWII's Ed Dyess. The most expensive bottle was $12. The gag centers on a lady smashing her aqua-green ride into an unfazed Ogden and blaming him for her car being totaled. If you'd like to get the additional items you've selected to qualify for this offer. Williams Aqua Velva, The J.B. Williams Company, Glastonbury, 1929. This particularly awful one was with Toyota. Being one of the best guards means that you get lots of endorsements. How to Measure Remaining Sunlight With Your Hands, What Every Man Should Know About Having a Heart Attack. Aqua Velva has survived 95 years of shifting consumer tastes, as illustrated by the many changes to its marketing slogans. Please, press play and watch Rose explain why his teammates can't stand players who rock a gray mop in what I imagine to be a wood-paneled clubhouse. Something went wrong. If these were Drew Brees' teammates, his career would have lasted four seconds in the NFL. After a week of testing these colognes and aftershaves, Im happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised by my findings. I got some in my stocking for Christmas when I was in 6th grade. He's on a different level when he's in that Philadelphia Phillies uniform. Even with the tweaking, this is still a solid, timeless, and manly fragrance. It also has a nice antiseptic alcohol smell to it. Aqua Velva got its start in 1929, not as an aftershave, but as a mouthwash for men. Cal and Billy Ripken. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n8YA6If0HI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtPplcqxv2I, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGhFNX_0nuw, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28-Y4tc6nCo, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2lViEJtl8g, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eAs7DM6u_Q, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMpoQSq6poA, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXVwzpd99Mc, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WcAUNaR1Ww, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXVCgENWIRA, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-aKv8wsnOg, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ98-7i1m5s, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-SbynwQzio, http://www.ina.fr/pub/hygiene-beaute-sante/video/PUB3212136067/aqua-velva-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.ina.fr/pub/hygiene-beaute-sante/video/PUB3212136077/aqua-velva-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.ina.fr/pub/hygiene-beaute-sante/video/PUB3212079018/aqua-velva-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.ina.fr/pub/hygiene-beaute-sante/video/PUB3212601028/aqua-velva-de-williams-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.ina.fr/pub/hygiene-beaute-sante/video/PUB3254142086/aqua-velva-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.ina.fr/pub/hygiene-beaute-sante/video/PUB3212593081/aqua-velva-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.ina.fr/video/PUB3212587008/aqua-velva-lotion-apres-rasage.fr.html, http://www.indyarocks.com/videos/Lainie-Kazanlooking-HOTin-Aqua-Velva-commercia-123725, (You must log in or sign up to reply here. The famed New Orleans Saints quarterback rushes into a meeting room that looks like a converted high school science lab and begins to spew football knowledge, all while randomly running a treadmill. Same formula; same rectangular bottle; same big ol wooden lid. Youll find hints of orange, lemon, jasmine, and lavender with a warm musk background in this manlyconcoction. What it smells like:Pinaud Clubman is pretty potent stuff. Enjoy. Youre buying this because these guys have been making aftershave since 1917, and they know a thing or two. This was the first soap to be manufactured expressly for use in shaving mugs and went on to great commercial success. The latest in the sports world, emailed daily. Unlike other formulations, this one is specially made for sensitive skin, which means virtually no alcohol and therefore no sting. 1910s, 2013. Most of the marketing for English Leather featured an attractive woman telling male viewers or readers that, All her men wear English Leather. Translation: If you want hot babes, slap on some English Leather, by golly. Brett January 29, 2021 Last updated: January 11, 2022. Gillettes green and blue goo aftershaves seem to sell well, as do the notorious and infamous Axe body sprays. But to my surprise it was more of a light, flowery fragrance with notes of lavender, jasmine, and citrus. It's a real challenge to describe the dangerous levels of absurdity that go on in this thing. The guys then celebrate the win and thank their delicious beer for the assist, all while the "fat lady" sings in the background. {"modules":["unloadOptimization","bandwidthDetection"],"unloadOptimization":{"browsers":{"Firefox":true,"Chrome":true}},"bandwidthDetection":{"url":"https://ir.ebaystatic.com/cr/v/c1/thirtysevens.jpg","maxViews":4,"imgSize":37,"expiry":300000,"timeout":250}}, Add to cart to save with this special offer. But this isnt the stuff Pete Rose used to sing about in those classic 70s TV commercials. Aqua Velva is still produced today, though no longer by the J.B. Williams Company. Its not something you leave out on your bathroom counter to impress a hot date. The Sometimes, Always, Never Three-Button Rule, A Chill Dude Style Staple: The Classic Camp Collar Shirt, A Mans Guide to Fragrance: How to Choose and Wear Cologne, How to Pick the Perfect Mens Wedding Ring, How to Grow a Beard: The One and True Guide, Your No-Nonsense Guide to Choosing the Right Beard Style, Beard Oil FAQs: Answering All Your Pressing Beardly Questions, Beard Grooming 101: The Lowdown on Products and Routine, How to Recognize a Quality Tie in 60 Seconds, Podcast #678: Physical Benchmarks Every Man Should Meet, At Every Age, How to Use Lifting Straps to Level Up Your Strength Training, How to Recognize and Treat Heat Stroke and Heat Exhaustion, The Insanely Difficult Standards of Historys Hardest P.E. The Art of Manliness participates in affiliate marketing programs, which means we get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links. and in the 1960s it became the familiar Theres something about an Aqua Velva man. Just look at how that young woman follows him down the third base line. Pinaud Clubman is the oldest bargain aftershave on our list. Pete Rose is back for another regrettable commercial, this time with the heinous-smelling men's cologne Aqua Velva. Dont use Hai Karate without memorizing these self-defense moves. Jeremiah Wadsworth, foremost in every enterprise, Reel Lawn Mower Patent Today in History: January 28, Armstrong Finds a Niche in the Tire Market, The Inventive Minds of Connecticut Women: Patents in the 19th Century. View cart for details. The only Gretzky outside of Wayne most people know is his daughter, Paulina. A Guide to the J. Rose responds in a "manly" way, all while she fawns and trips over his every word. If you Buy It Now, you'll only be purchasing this item. It's all thanks to a weird product called Spark, of course. Throughout the years, Aqua Velva produced several TV commercials to cast itself as the scent of choice of manly men. Usually, beer commercials are always on the money. If I were a bettin man, Id even wager that the manly, charming scent of Old Spice played some kind of role in your eventual birth. Theres Still Something About An Aqua Velva Man, Fall 2022 Style Preview: Fashionable Outerwear for Men, LUXX Provides a New Standard for Mens Jewelry, The Best Scalp Care Products to Prevent Hair Loss, The Montblanc Summit 3 Is a Smartwatch for Traditional Watch Lovers, Gear up for Your Hikes With a Pair of These Columbia Cargo Shorts, Get These Billabong Sundays Airlite Boardshorts for Your Trips to the Beach, The 10 Best Cooling Clothing and Accessory Deals for Men at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, We may use your e-mail address to send you the newsletter and offers that may interest you, on behalf of Men's Journal and its partners. What it smells like: Old Spice has a nice, spicy smell to it, hence the name. Hai Karate is no longer produced, but because it was perhaps one of the most famous bargain fragrances to come out of the 60s and 70s, I had to put it on the list. In this spot, 1950s cartoon guy learns what happens to guys who dont wear Aqua Velva: Aqua Velva was responsible for Pete Roses all-time MLB record for hits. Before they got into the body wash business, Old Spice made cologne and aftershave. Photograph - Sales Car, J.B. Williams Company, ca. For more information please read our, theres something about an Aqua Velva man. University of Connecticut Libraries, Archives & Special Collections at the Thomas J. Dodd Research Center. And of course, because theres something about an Aqua Velva man. Ive never smelled the stuff, but from what Ive heard from Baby Boomers, its exotic blend of lavender, basil, geranium, bergamot, rose, and patchouli didnt actually smell so great. I actually thought all of the drugstore colognes and aftershaves smelled great. Its kind of an aggressive scent. For the sake of brevity, let's go with wretched. Watch more top videos, highlights, and B/R original content. On cue, he descends from the rafters like Sting and dominates his foe. Its tagline is The Essence of Man. Athletes have typically been the spokesmen for the brand. Starts off with a citrusy smell that slowly fades to a woodsy, leathery scent. At least Wheaties got it together and produced quality work after this dark period. Daryl Dawkins singing the jingle, the random dropping of a strawberry into a dry bowl of Wheaties, all of it is utter rubbish. As it fades, it leave a pleasant musk and cedarwood scent. With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, weve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. Football player Broadway Joe Namath took part in a series of TV and print ads for Brut in the 1970s. And as the gift idea for those who didnt know what else to get the man in their lives (Stetson makes it easy, for youuuu!). And also why were loving Aqua Velvas new 5-in-1 Sensitive After Shave Balm ($5 at Amazon). Finch Tundgren: Aqua Velva, covers up the smell of horse sweat and sin. B. Williams Company Records, 1853-1956, 2014. All local car dealership commercials have to pay homage to this "gem" starring Pittsburgh Penguins great Mario Lemieux. That kind of ruins this commercial. I got mine on sale at Walgreens for $4. Below are my thoughts and a bit of history on the six drugstore colognes and aftershaves I tested. Want to start taking action on the content you read on AoM? Maybe you got your dad a box for Christmas 1987. 1929. Make your own! At least, thats what I told my 12-year-old self. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. We take pride in a rigorous review process that includes testing and torturing.
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