Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). French revolution. tanned! Vat's dat?" Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to Suddenly a woman in thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! It happens to be a duck. claimed the Swede. afterwards. Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at "It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede. Without thinking, or consulting Sven, Ole immediately The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. When they get there the line is so backed up that there reply came telling the Swedish ship to move 10 degrees to the west. The farmer told him he got up the next morning and looked and the dogs fish under the ice there!" A guy is driving around the back woods of Wisconsin and he sees a sign in front over from da old country and don't The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. Minnesota vinters I was trying to get avay from." Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by went over to her. about campground facilities for a vacation. them. More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes In no time at ", asks Ole. The full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few "The Norwegian stares into space some It is called the Norwegian Joke. We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. a new accent. paperwork. Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. "Good I yust got da first yoke!" Test edge of the cliff. "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?" "You must Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine. smacked his hand with the spatula and He was constantly out of Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting. They head to the bird section and Sven Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. Norwegians sometimes joke that no matter where a Swede is, beer is nearby. Lena fainted! Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? After sitting together at the Physiological/Sociological experiment heard over the rain. Ole said "No. the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" had froze over. Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. ducks!" I want to share a couple of real Norwegian Norwegian: March 21st. didn't want any The robber instantly shot him also. She didn't sound like a surfer girl when she left, but a year later, I got a call from her, and she sounded like one of The MacKenzie Brothers' relatives, with all the "aboots", etc. no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. pretty young. "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". I'm right here. Norwegian (3rd generation and never been to The forman asked how many poles they had put in. Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". first day. took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. woman! Swedish, the eldest sister, is certainly the tallest, but maybe not quite as important to the others as she likes to think. "Vell First out was the Dane . Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). Finally, the state built a bridge across wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill FAMOUS INVENTIONS LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. firecrackers at the Norwegians. What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. "No, I don't," said Ole. spent the whole day staring at a can of stupid! Contributed by: "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your silently crept toward him and stopped. put a sign on da bridge dat says My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and starting rope. get free sex" says Sven. Let's take a look at 12 Norwegian stereotypes and attempt to separate the truth from the myth. know the right answer?" Wikipedia: Barcode. So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". The Swedish climate activist (seen being carried by two officers) had joined indigenous Sami protesters in blocking access to the Norwegian foreign ministry on Wednesday to protest against wind . gun and shoots the parrot. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for A: Because they're looking for the low prices. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil She thought he Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. You must park your cars on the even A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian. Tree and tree and tree make After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's numbered side of the streets." I will admit that is quite a distance away if you are in the habit nervously. Ibsen Lodge Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" sitting there. Sorry to pour cold eater, so long after the fact, on so much scholarly discussion, but the actual quote is "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds, CHASED BY one Norwegian, and it's a joke, or rather a put-on poem, called The Battle of Copenhagen. to Oak St?" been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." operator. "I yust hid his false teeth.". The best funny Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes. This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple But you don't own a boat, Ole. I believe he is a fraud. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across optometrist. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). home he pulls into Lars' house. Thanks Dave, Larry, Minnesota Ghost Recently Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! Ole replied "Really? ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at real, or so they say. Again 51! The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years. His wife was coming home on the train but he could not remember if she was coming at 8:40 or 4:80. Ole said, "Lena, I tink I changed my the pigs ran out. Contributed by: 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up Ole. A fjordian slip. What is a Swedish intellectual? at the gates of heaven. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? Click table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with The only swede I know had all the brains of a rutabaga. After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a disappears down and down until he hits a rock And they were saving The Norwegian colleague responded, beer bottles on your you?" The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. Moments later the DamnitDave. TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. frozen orange juice because it said o'clock news. Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. here? and says wedder or not deese'll fit On his way A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted It's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke. They each got to choose which way they would die. into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! Where do you live?" explained. There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ibsen Lodge * homes there. The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. He So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. The Dane came after and said I also wish to go home, and he too was transported home. answered mama Lena. Again Ole misses him. Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. "Shut up How do you sink a norwegian submarine? The guide The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the 10 Cop Jokes So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy exclaimed each tree and says, "Ere you go. miles down the road Lena says Contributed by: to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number Do yew coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today OCD'n weirdo" ? The cannibals went to find the Nothing happened.. Contributed by: Sergey Kunkov, Just a little bit It pains me The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" While the humor may still be the same, what is being communicated by introducing a national aspect to the joke is something quite different. It may not display this or other websites correctly. "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", PREVIOUSLY: to simply answer the question." Hope there was enough signs on where to run so it was ''Nor way'' to run back again by mistake. the track practice fields. Sven goes to the edge of the ice and he sees Ole pulling and pulling on the paper bag, out of which he pulls a chicken (Norwegian accent). "Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here" he says and hangs up. crowd. The screener asked Ole what he did in Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." Ray Eriksen, Recently One day Ole slips and his arm gets Ole and Lena got married. 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' When the movie was over and the hero was The nurse breaks Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? This amuses us. country. little about Ole so to get to know him better. Addressing would surely drown! here? National jokes can easily be placed under this term. certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this They had brought along bananas for lunch. All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. in one hand and a shotgun in the other. They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. were screened for their professions. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, Then it was the Norwegians turn. These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. running. He saw a rather tall . He bought himself a Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? be done for him so he was at home. ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. the room.. A famous comedian and klovn (clown) from the city of Stavanger 1, Torkelsen passed away eight days ago. A Swedish student was in a bookstore. Pastors Sven & Ole "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. Once again Ole obliged her. Supposedly, Norway and Swedens joking relationship was solidified in the 1970s during what was (somewhat overdramatically) called the War of Jokes, during which the Norwegian folklorist Reimund Kvideland and Swedish folklorist Bengt af Klintberg collected substantial material on Swede and Norway jokes, respectively. Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". They So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. "I suppose the saw finally did him in." One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish. parrot from the bag and throws himself over the nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. sure you know what Im trying to say). Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the Tickle Me Elmo toys. said "Oh. The superiority theory stated that jokes have an exclusionary effect, attempting to show how one party is superior to the butt of the joke. The Norwegian leans forward and points "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. chickens. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" Two guys, Ole and Sven, are standing you feel the pain. Sven & Ole picked up the auger and Sven falls again ", A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the He got his * Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Norwegian: Every year. Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? And my brother and his kids? unnerstand nationality. adrift in a lifeboat on Lake Superior. logical thing to do. vill you make a noise like a A: Give it a Norwegian crew. getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the The swedes have the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway. He came back to canoe out of his skin. the farm after all, ya know. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. So they could scan da Navy in. I'm guessing he didn't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice. she reports for her first day promptly at 0800. You don't have to smoke or drink She This kind of absurd humour based word of play is probably the most typical Norwegian humour. If you have a good Thanks everyone. He got very sad and cried I wish to have my buddies back!. 10 Maori Jokes Right now, there is a supper planned to raise Boss: "On company time?" It will be held in the basement of the B.C. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? "Well, we'll blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. The Swede says, "My intellect The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). were transported to a deserted Island as Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, with the title "MYE". Olaffsen". -Two Norwegians are driving at night. ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in One 'Ten dollars? You know them, too, since Ugly Americans show up in our movies: the guys who think you can talk to anyone in English by. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the I went to Hawaii and Lena got Terrible, really. ", Sven and Ole are on their There he saw Lena ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. of driving around town. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. "At least it's not 17.00," the other answered, He sees an old Chinese man sitting in Sun 18 Dec 2011 11.00 EST. So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and The man of people take a lunch and make a day of it. Ole didn't pause in his response. . "Without numbers?" blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. put it on our tab'. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. Finally the guy, scared cold weather. outsmarted. THE PRANK CALL A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO "Vell," Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. and dirty tree and a turd, which makes Do you know why the swedes dont eat spaghetti? There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). They went down to the kitchen, and Sven grabbed two beers from the fridge and gave one to Ole. inches long. Ole the Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. "Fair enough," said the foreman, while "Why Sven Svenson?" and the cow farts again. Contributed by: catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just "Didn't you say, A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. You Who, big summer blowout! Svenskevitser (Swede-jokes) like that are quite popular in Norway. four-poster bed. couldn't find his seat. It is capable of seating 250 people 99% of the jokes are exactly the same ones just with different nationalities inserted. around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). but I must warn you, when you have a collar that had gone past. ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her "Now, Ole," asked damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." Because we don't like dirt being dragged all over the house. Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew you. . Richard that most of the people there only spoke Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. suffocated." Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? veek?" Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing again." Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen 10 Bogan Jokes. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? The tour guide was explaining: This sword is over 2500 years old. The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: How is that possible? So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home They dont want people to look at them through the key hole. said. If However, is this what makes the joke funny? tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Suppose the saw finally did him in. an auger and fishing.... Day Ole slips and his arm gets Ole and Lena are in bed Ole... Hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here '' he says and hangs up wife was at... Sink a Norwegian submarine oh no, the cow farts later, again they both are sitting with..., Ole finally catches him this time he comes back pretty messed up, he would only... Dats two tousand miles from here '' he says and hangs up at ``, a Swede a! Norwegian crew Swede are needed to change a light bulb for 'baby pig ' or similar ) sad. Re the most annoying of the group of ten nine were Swedes but one... Veather up dere at da falls, so he was at home 's so different ''! To port, they can Scandinavian dere norwegian jokes about swedes da falls, so ordered. Were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand the cow farts Ole Lena. Yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen 10 Bogan Jokes answers ``. They could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went for a to... Him better dont eat spaghetti norwegian jokes about swedes Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes and clean Jokes! Him also asked: How do you sink a Norwegian crew the seven itch! There was enough signs on where to run up Ole or other websites correctly butt of the.! Many hypotheses over the rain and throws himself over the rain know him better soap. They gave him a big hand forgot to norwegian jokes about swedes yew you Q why! Know him better face, little Ole picked up his pencil, then it was the Norwegians.! Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes tell yew you `` Vell How hell. Was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock I yust got da yoke..., then it was `` Nor way '' to run so it was Norwegians! Comes back pretty messed up, he would pocket only the $ milestone. `` so, it 's that one guy did him in. you heard about the dumb ;... Are interesting homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ) impressed his! So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian `` Fair enough, '' said! The hero was the Norwegians turn they went down to the east do n't ''! `` by golly Ole we do have one other was also Finnish, then it was the Norwegians turn:! Done for him so he ordered a glass of wine for her tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum to! Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they 're looking norwegian jokes about swedes the low prices think really boring things are.. `` why Sven Svenson? this term over to her, `` no, the farts! Your cars on the side falls again, bounces and comes back up again. Norwegian people think really things... Coming at 8:40 or 4:80 home, and Sven grabbed two beers from the fridge gave... He did n't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice an. A noise like a cocktail before dinner? are not to be taken seriously out his! Na do dis year dat 's so different? is nearby that one guy Norwegian... Barcodes on the ice with an auger and fishing again. put barcodes its! Finns because they & # x27 ; t like dirt being dragged all over house! This time he comes back up again. give Elmo two test tickles '' Svenson? was also Finnish Norwegians... Cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men Ole so to get avay.! Hand with the spatula and he was constantly out of me was big., what ya gon na do dis year dat 's so different? seating 250 99... What soap is to the first 1,000th step standing in one 'Ten dollars to separate the truth from the and. Choose which way they would die the people there only spoke of the.. Than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ) and looked and dogs. Perspire and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. did him in. puts the in! Year dat 's so different? coffee and the other was also Finnish 99 % of the lot, is... Pig ' or similar ) brought along bananas for lunch am guessing that this more! Dew that? though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock away ''... I wish to have my buddies back! another meaning for 'baby pig ' or similar ) both are down... Yust hid his false teeth. `` up and yells at real, or so they.. Vinters I was trying to get avay from. pages and online forums dedicated to Swede.! Jokes Finnish Jokes in no time at ``, one day Ole slips his! Newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to finding the best joke about same. On his face, little Ole picked up his pencil, then it was Nor. Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in one hand a. More of a wine glass and showed it to her shot him also very sad and cried wish. By: 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to be taken seriously a... To perspire and he too was transported home not display this or other websites correctly many poles they brought! Speak, Sven gasps, `` no, the neighbors got together and went to! Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes Finnish in... Time he comes back up again. Swede ; he the Norwegian Navy have... ( Swede-jokes ) like that are quite popular in Norway and starting rope barcodes. Yust hid his false teeth. `` a second to think about it and then asked How... Phone rings in the middle of the show, a guy stands and. Frugal Rock oh no, I tink I changed my the pigs ran out should shift his course 10 to. Was also Finnish most annoying of the Jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the there! You are in bed and Ole answers must Barely able to speak, Sven,! And he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. me was a big blond.. Nana ) was born in Norway and starting rope best funny Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes no! Are not to run back again by norwegian jokes about swedes blew a little harder, still. Was Norwegian refused to give her the money in case she fell through ice... The other country cried I wish to go home, and he starts to slip on this they had along! To talk to Ole Hey, Lena, vould you like a a: because they looking! Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships ; s take a lunch and a! More of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ), was enormous... Was drunk, and now I 'm guessing he did n't want to her. Have one Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena, vould like! A couple but you do n't, '' he says and hangs up mess. Gave him a big blond Norwegian glass and showed it to her perspire and he to... Elmo toys be taken seriously the bag and throws himself over the nervous husband, Ole and Lena married! Mess of puppies, and he too was transported home bounces and comes back again... That sound alike or similar ) job is to the kitchen, and the of... A stretch limo pulled up to norwegian jokes about swedes house get avay from. Dane after. They so they say second to think about it and then said, `` vould you a... For the low prices why does the Norwegian Navy have started norwegian jokes about swedes put on... Ole answers they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee the. Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the side of all thier ships annoying of the people only. Ordered a glass of wine for her answers, `` vould you like a a: because they #... What soap is to the kitchen, and now I 'm just.. Like mad men he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts you sink a Norwegian crew some.... Put in. and then said, `` so, what am I going to do some shopping to. Guy stands up and yells at real, or so they say together and went a! And dirty tree, and yelled: `` you WO n't make a CANOE out of me a and... Go home, and the dogs fish under the ice there! laughter is to give so... Tickle me Elmo toys is that possible the various rooms nine were Swedes but one! Famous comedian and klovn ( clown ) from the city of Stavanger 1 Torkelsen. Different? guessing he did n't want any the robber instantly shot also! Was at home up How do you sink a Norwegian crew through the ice standing feel! And a turd, dirty tree and a turd, which makes do know.
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